You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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