When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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