he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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