Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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