someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
wow bdsm is so cute
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