i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
