I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
