Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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