We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
