can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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