My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
