Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
