I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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