sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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