That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This baby is an asshole
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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