We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
