Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
