Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
