That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
