I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
