dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she looked like the before picture.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
