So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
