I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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