They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
