You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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