she was so not down for the gang bang
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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