She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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