Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
