I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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