dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're like the curious george of whores
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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