I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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