I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
