I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, he came in my armpit
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have tasted many bathrooms
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
