When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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