I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
