ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
