I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
