whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
