just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
