okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
