Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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