i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
