i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
