I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
