Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
