He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
