Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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