i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
