I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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