i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
